Before I start I'd like to remind you this is Sanctuary Mzz :)
You wrote this because you already knew the answer. You can't make people take steps they don't want to take.
Furthermore, you initiated this relationship with him on that level - you can't demand that the playing field be changed because you are catching feelings - it's not what he signed up for 5-6 months ago, you know that.
You can give him the option to continue seeing you in a more mature manner, but it can't be an ultimatum. A wife gives a cheating husband an ultimatum - it's different you know...
I'm guility of this too right now also, so I get it. I have this chick who is catching feelings who I should have dropped 2 weeks ago but it was too much effort and I didn't feel like dealing with more stress.
And honestly, drinks aren't even dating - you take a fuck buddy drinking - so if he can't even match up to that small a commitment, he is a either cheap, a douche, or an amateur - either way, not impressive.
Also, if you get worked up over it he'll feel like he has the right to call you at 2 am still (and one night you will be horny and fuck him too) so make sure you just look down on him so that he gets it loud and clear. Don't be apathetic - give him the "you don't want me, great I wanted a hotter guy anyway" or something along those lines.
Remember the secret, most young twenty something guys have zero self esteem / self worth so fucking own this guy - don't let him get the upper hand by being able to claim he used you.
I disagree with half of this (or, if you want to be positive, i agree with half of it)
I def won't let him have the upper hand, and I'm never using the "you used me line", 'cause at the end of the day i'm using him too. But the thing is, we used to date and I broke up with him---so really, my question was around those lines...do you think he doesn't want to date 'cause he doesn't trust me, or because he just doesn't give a shit? And the reason I ask this is because he is not hooking up with other girls (yes, I know, as far as I'm concerned. But I told him I was seeing this other guy and he got offended...but still told me he wasn't....and that would have been a good time to bring the subject up) so I don't really see the point in not dating if it's not because you want to see other people-
now, why can't I give him an ultimatum? we started seeing each other and no one ever talked about our title....why shouldn't I be able to want to take a step forward? If he doesn't want to, he is more than welcome to take one back, but I can sure tell him I'm not seeing him anymore(=> ultimatum)
Dude stop playing with your dick and type coherently