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 Post subject: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2008, 11:10 
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ok well.. this one girl.. (the same one i posted a picture of in a different thread around here..) and i have had a few times in the past year and then we get back together and stuff like that..

well i met her at one of my best friends' wedding.. we hit it off.. we started talking and then progressed to seeing each other.. then almost dated.. then we stopped talking for a couple months.. but a couple weeks after we broke it off (the reason for breaking it off is cuz she's going away to college six hrs away) i met someone else.. that one ended badly.. her and i started having problems..(trust issues and she didn't like the way i couldnt get a job at the time..some bs like that..) anywho.. so her and i were having problems.. so i wanted some insight into a female psyche.. who did i call? that's right.. the one who's moving off to college.. well.. i moved outta issue girl's place and in with a buddy of mine.. well there was this one night that college girl and i were drinkin a little and then we ended up in my bed and one thing led to another.. (you should know how that goes..we had sex) so essentially i tried to explain shit to issue chick and she didnt wanna hear it needless to say i busted out a car window and spent the night in jail..

well.. college girl and i started full-on dating.. then she tried 'sparing' me heartache i guess and claimed that she was in love with someone else.. so we stopped dating.. then a couple weeks later we dropped off communication for a couple months.. then we started talking again.. and things were going swimmingly.. then she had to make a weekend trip to orientation for the college she's going to.. when she came back.. she started partying with this guy whom she had started dating just the other side of the weekend.. (whom she's never done anything sexual with) (regardless of her and i having sex a few times before she started dating this other guy).. well in any case she's broken my heart a few times before.. but i've broken hers a couple times too.. so.. about two weeks ago now she was still dating other dude and her and i went to hang out one day and we had sex.. well... last friday she broke up with him.. she leaves for college this friday.. and we've spent just about every other night together this week.. well she asked me to make her a few cd's about our relationship and songs that bring back our memories.. so i made one energetic happy one, and one that just good songs that are kinda 'our' songs that we both love and enjoy.. and i gave her the two.. well i was gathering some songs last night to make the three disc set complete and i almost lost my composure..

what should i say to her? i mean.. today is the last day i'll have any time to say anything before the holidays..

i am planning to visit in the next couple of months.. yet.. i don't wanna wait that long.. (and i really do love her as much as any man can love a woman.. i know she has commitment issues.. but i've always and will always be there for her.. because it doesn't matter how far away she'll be.. i'll be there with her.. i'll be right by her side.. it's almost like she doesn't want me..)

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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2008, 11:45 
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Well, Long distance relationships work like this: They only work if you dont care that the other one is out drinking and possible scerwing around with other people.

You could always move up there if you really wanted to be with her. that might or might not be the wisest choice. Ive always felt that if someone is in a LDR then they either need to move to be w/the other person or abandon it altogether.

9 times outta 10 they just dont end up working out. I wish you luck


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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2008, 12:36 
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i know this.. yet.. i'm the only person that she would want to take along.. but, she's already told me that i would be stranded there if we got into a fight or something and we ended our relationship.. (which me being a struggler (survivor) i pretty much cannot be stranded anywhere..) but then again she's going to be living in a dorm room with her best girl friend.. and.. if i were there she wouldnt have that much time for an 'us'.. (she's a theatre major and she does so many shows and plays that she won't have time for anything but classes and homework and her work-study and her extracurriculars.. trust me, i've seen the way she used to get so busy in high school.. she practically lived on the stage)
i'm practically the only guy she would want there with her, if she had the extra time.. and i've never offered to move with her.. or for her.. and i know that her fears are the same as mine.. (which is her forgetting me or me forgetting her) so.. i feel like i'm losing her, but i am ecstatic for her because she's been planning this for something like two years.. and it's actually happening..

what gets to me is the statistical fact that a dating relationship ends if one part moves away..

and i just did some figuring and it really isnt that far away.. (it's more time consuming than anything..) it wouldn't cost that much for me to drive down there to visit.. (which i'm planning to do in a month and a half) for like $120 for hotel (4 nights) $100 in fuel (round trip) and i'd say around $100 for food..

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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2008, 13:09 
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You sound lke you are trying to justify something.... if shes so busy you couldnt move there, shes going to be busy when you visit then....

if you have a few friends moving to the same college, you could ask to live with them and get a job up there if you really wanted it to work. but it sounds like its a high school type relationship that shes ready to end.


so my answer to your topic question: what you do now is find a new girlfriend (once she moves) but until the fuck the hell out of her til she leaves


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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2008, 14:06 
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I agree with Anon's last post. Hate to sound harsh but it really doesnt seem like it will work. Let her go, be happy for her (You already said you were) and honestly begin to move on when she leaves.

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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2008, 15:00 
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I have to agree with Anon too...it sucks, but it just seems like there's no way to make it work...Like u said, if u went there to live she would be too busy, LDR just doesn't work, no matter how much u visit (which i'm assuming won't be more than once a month or so)

Let it go

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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2008, 15:53 
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the whole if i moved there she would be too busy is bullshit imho. shes a freshman in college (going to be right?) she knows nothing about the college experience yet.

busy, of course, but you will have a full time job too id hope.


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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2008, 17:41 
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that's true.. but i don't wanna do something she wouldn't be comfortable with..

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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2008, 20:23 
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Yea and if shes not comfortable with you moving there (And I dont mean moving in with her, you couldn't anyway, kzu shes in a dorm) then shes probably ready to move on when she gets there.

A lot of girls are ready to get a new guy once they get to college. I mean look @ 90% of high school couples, break up the moment school starts


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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2008, 20:34 
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no.. i had to see her off tonight.. and no. just no. i've never seen her get as upset as she did when we parted tonight.. i didn't know i could hold that much emotion in my body for that matter.. even the bf she just broke up with last friday, she didn't cry that much..

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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 22 Aug 2008, 00:01 
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wait what? I thought you were the boyfriend.... are you talking about your booty call?


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 Post subject: Re: what the fuck do i do now?
PostPosted: 22 Aug 2008, 00:07 
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not really.. i'm the one she's afraid to commit to.. so she kinda pushed the feelings she has for me to this other guy.. with every intention of breaking it off with him before she left.. kinda ticks me off.. yet what am i to do about it.. i'm kinda like the 60% lover and 40% bestest friend in the world to her...

she has a few issues.. (daddy issues to be more specific) and can't commit worth shit.. yet i have been the guy that's been right there by her side for just under a year now.. so i have a bit of a tolerance.. (i know (without the shadow of a doubt) that if we were to forget about each other then remember each other in 4 years, we'd prolly hit it off again and give in to each other and get married, and have the whitest albino kid ever seen and name him Tai Mai Shu)

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