Right.. so you remember the first thread, and i was looking over the responses, and thinking about what a couple of close friends've said.
I guess it comes down to "you were drunk, you didn't know what you were doing" for the reasoning, and for the solution we've got "get him the fuck out of your life, NOW!"
I'm not looking for a solution, just reasoning. And i was okay sitting with i was drunk because it was easy to blame it on the alcohol, and i was really trying not to think about it.
I know he's bad, and i know i should leave, i KNOW all this, i do. But not yet. yeah, i love him, and a small pert of me always will, but i've been good, or was, and stayed away from him, even when he's drunk, because i know i'd mean nothing to him.
Now, tonight i was going home, this is like 10 minutes ago, with him, ryan and jason. they were dropping me at my house before they hit another party.
He was wasted.
I was sober.
Now, someone riddle me this: If i was completely coherent, sober, and alert, why did i throw(for lack of a better word) myself at him, knowing it would mean nothing, and i'd feel like THIS after.
I honestly don't think i've ever felt this shitty and torn in my whole life.
Someone riddle me that.
There's no alcohol to blame as a scape goat this time, it was all me.
“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”
“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”