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 Post subject: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 12:33 
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ok.. so i just got some news last night..

my friend that i call my 'wife' is scared shitless... she's six hours away from home (as you know) and she's the woman i love..

well my phone got shut off... so i've been using a few different numbers to talk to her on.. so she sent my dad's phone a text at about 11:30 the night before last.. then i checked my mom's phone's recent call history and there was a missed call from her number at about 5:13 yesterday afternoon..

the news was that she thinks she may or may not be pregnant.. and the last time i got with her was three weeks ago.. and a week or two before that..
two weeks ago she was with her ex boyfriend..

she got upset with me on the phone last night because i was talking about her options and what she wants to do.. she's scared shitless and so am i for her...

she knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that she wants to keep it if she is prego..
well.. i sent her a few texts last night that she has yet to respond to... and i'm not quite sure how to feel other than apologetic.. i sent her one msg on myspace just about an hour or two ago.. i think i'm going to call her a little later on today..

while her and her ex were dating her and i got together.. so she doesnt want me talking to him...
i almost need to talk to him...

so my question is, what do i do in this situation? should i wait for her to calm down over the next couple of days? do i engage in a conversation with her ex? or do i just go get drunk and call it quits cuz i'm almost certain it's not mine?

i'm feeling a little lost and i've already got her upset cuz when she got upset when i was talking about her options, she got defensive about the fact that she wants to keep the child if she is pregnant.. when i told her that i'd push her through college and help her the best i can, she tried to shove my college experience in my face and failed miserably... (i got placed on academic suspension and am having to sit out two major semesters and i have every intention of going back next fall..)

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 13:08 
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you got 2 chioces. let the guy have the kid and be none the wiser. regardless of if it is yours or his, just let him take it and hope he doesnt get a pat test.

or

man up, tell the guy. demand a paternity test if shes pregnant. winner of that test keeps the baby.

but either way you are learning now the consequences of sleeping with girls who lack the moral fortitude to keep their legs shut when they are in a relationship.

dont marry this woman whatever you do. Marrying 'for the kids' is stupid. you can stay together for the kids, but you dont owe her marriage; kuz this girl will cheat on a monogamous relationship so she is not marriage material.... you dnot wanna end up paying child support and alimony.


and when you say you love her..... why the fuck is she with her ex bf? he love her too?


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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 13:33 
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no i say i love her cuz i've known her for far longer and deeper than anyone else could know her.. and her and i have no boundaries between each other.. she isn't 'with' him.. she just doesn't know wether she is or not.. and if she is she doesn't know who the father would be.. she told him cuz she couldn't tell me at the time..

still that begs the question.. do i contact and further the conversation i was having with her ex?

i mean he's not a bad guy.. he reminds me of myself.. if i was a year older..

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 13:47 
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well, the lawyer in me wants to say tell him in a week or sign this document saying i never owe child support on this kid (in consideration for you never telling the guy about it-im sure a lawyer could draw that up; and if shes not 18, then make her mom or dad sign it too)

however. id tell her she has a week to tell him or you will.

for a few reasons

1) If you are the dad you shouldnt be a deadbeat loser dad. This gives you a chance to bond with the woman and prep for fatherhood.
2) its selfish of her to keep both deals going at the same time when it could affect a childs life.
3) If you really like the other guy. you should respect him enough to be honest with him.
4) you dont want him to raise your kid, you dont want to raise his kid.


Now i have a question, how do you know the Ex? I mean you friends with him? or acquantences? if you consider yourself friends with him, tell him immediately. ignore what she says and tell him. If you are just acquantences, give her some notice.


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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 14:08 
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she doesn't want me to talk to him.. and i've met the guy twice and he seems kewl..

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 14:18 
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oh well if you've "just met the guy" you have no reason to start talking to him now.

i mean if it is yours, do you want her bangin him for 8 more months til ya find out? i mean lay it out to her from your point of view....


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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 14:28 
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all i can do is try..

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 14:47 
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good luck. tell us how it goes.... how old is she?


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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 15:29 
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..just turned 18 last month..

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 16:21 
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this sucks blest'd, i'm sorry for you :( i really hope she's not pregnant, but if she is, then she has to know who the father is...i mean...women always know (or at least suspect)

honestly, your girls has a lot growing up to do if she decides to have the child, specially considering she's not even mature enough to commit with a guy, or even to JUST HAVE SEX WITH ONE OF THEM. gosh...

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 16:30 
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idk.. maybe.. maybe, she's just wanting a friend in the situation.. or maybe if she is pregnant, she doesn't want me to be the father.. maybe she would rather him be the father.. it's kind-of a toss-up as to who's it is.. i mean, i had sex with her a less than seven days before he had sex with her.. and here it is just over two weeks from when her and him had sex.. and she's scared shitless.. and for some reason i doubt that it'd be mine..

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 19:03 
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my sympathy dude.

that sucks.

demand a paternity test though. not knowing the answer would probably eat at me for my whole life.

and respect yourself more from now on and demand a little more from your relationships. don't put yourself in a position to be hurt/used/dumped on ever again.

cheers.

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 19:46 
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well.. she doesn't wanna believe that she may be pregnant..

and i'm not gonna even try forcing her to take a test.. of any kind..

i do respect myself.. it's like she loves me back it's just she's scared to.. she is terrified of what i can offer her.. she's terrified of committing.. to anything really.. she knows she cares about me.. she knows i care about her.. if that isn't love then i don't know what is...

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 20:49 
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she may be pregnant..... shes not pregnant until she tests positive

shes not drinking is she?


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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 21:22 
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not if she thinks she might be..

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 21:22 
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thinking you might be and actually being preggers is wayyyy different. if she wont get a test then it could just be her seeking attn.


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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 21:24 
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maybe.. idk.. but i know that she's never been this scared of anything before..

she's gonna wait a few more days before she takes a test...

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 21:28 
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Obviously, she has her reasons..... but logic reminds you that just you dont know, doesnt mean it isn't.

For your sanity, id encourage her to do it ASAP

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 03 Sep 2008, 21:30 
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blest'd wrote:

and i'm not gonna even try forcing her to take a test.. of any kind..



you should, it's your life too

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 05 Sep 2008, 15:41 
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not really.. it's more than likely the other guy's.. and btw.. i've had a nice long heart to heart with him.. apparently she's lied about quite a few things to both of us..

i think befriending him is a fairly good idea..

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 05 Sep 2008, 16:17 
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if the girl lies to you about a bunch of stuff... ya may wanna get a new girl


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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 05 Sep 2008, 19:37 
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ah.. therein lies the problem.. i fell in too deep with this one.. and not to mention that getting a new girl is easier said than done..

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 05 Sep 2008, 20:40 
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oh now i got to have my heart to heart with micheal.. (micheal is the ex boyfriend of kaitlynn..) anywho, i've been talkin and befriending him and today i took a bowl of my home-brewed chili-salsa to him at work.. (he wasn't there) in any case, i told him all about me and her and he told me shit about her and him.. and now she says she is 'hating a certain someone but so happy that nothing can hold her down'...

and he's sayin 'he isn't outta the water yet'..

does this mean that he told her about him and i talking? does this mean she's pissed at me cuz she told me she doesn't want him and i talking together? siriusly.. what. the. chicken?

wth is goin on here?

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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 06 Sep 2008, 00:06 
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well, should you ask her that?


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 Post subject: Re: P.S.
PostPosted: 06 Sep 2008, 14:55 
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My life experience tells me that a suspicious mind is a healthy mind...but my real advice to you is that you must ascertain the facts above all else.

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