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 Post subject: Lies
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2008, 21:54 
Epic Cocksucker
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Nothing hurts more than being lied to...
I'm at my wits end... the compulsive lies needs to end. I almost left already, until I was promised that a distinct change would happen. That seems to be a lie too since the lies keep coming. How hard is it for some people to simply tell the truth? How do I confront someone who lies contently? How do I get to a point where I can trust them again? That I don't have to PROVE that they lie to me in order to extract an apology and vow for the truth hence forward...?

I'm going fucking crazy and can't stand it.

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2008, 22:08 
Bitchzilla
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I'm sorry you have to go through this.

I'm currently associated with a liar. It sucks. He used to be my best friend. Now i keep him because i like him as a person, but i trust noting that comes out of his mouth.

I sat him down and basically screamed at him.

Who's lying all the time.. because the course of action you have to take is going to be very different for say a friend versus a significant other..

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“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2008, 22:21 
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I had already established that I'm done taking the shit end of everything with this person. I'm standing up for myself. Lies are simply unacceptable no matter the circumstance. I can understand people make mistakes, I certainly do. But when I find out (either by someone calling me on it or by self recognition) I hone up to it. This isn't the case for the liar in my life. When confronted with the lie, out comes some very hurtful things upon me and I'm simply done being treated with such lousy respect.

I need to know the best way to confront an overly defensive person about lies. Because the moment I say "I know you lied", I'm going to get attacked and that isn't right by me. I deserve the respect of honesty.

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2008, 23:24 
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If they snap at you simply stay calm and ask them to listen to what you have to say. If they have any sense of respect they will listen but if they don't simply walk away, quite simply because this would not be someone that would be associated with anyways.
I don't presume to know exactly what your problem is but this is the way that I would personally go about it.

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2008, 23:40 
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Apparently "its none of my business" anyway. I'm so loved and respected...

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 16 Oct 2008, 23:45 
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Being vague is the key to getting away with lies. When you are selfish enough, you can dispute anything to not being of consequence to anyone but yourself. right? Fuck what anyone else's feelings are... Do whatever the fuck ya want and suffer no guilty repercussions of hurting the one's you love because its "NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS"

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2008, 00:07 
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Of course that's total bullshit but unfortunately people are self centered assholes who don't deserve the people around them.

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2008, 00:07 
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the thing with chronic liars is...they almost always wont change.

the girl I was with most recently was just like this...even after I called her out on it and she too said it would change. it never does.

they can't help it. they always have an excuse. "well I lied cuz I didnt want to hurt you" "well it was because i didnt think you needed to know"

aside from trying your damnedest to get them to change the only other thing you can do really is walk away.


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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2008, 00:11 
Epic Cocksucker
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I've had enough with self centered assholes... I need a change...

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2008, 00:16 
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That makes two of us.
Actually i'm just tired of all the bullshit, I just really want to change everything in my life right now.

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2008, 00:22 
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MissBrown wrote:
I've had enough with self centered assholes... I need a change...

:werd:
The_Almighty_Stan wrote:
That makes two of us.
Actually i'm just tired of all the bullshit

:werd: :werd:


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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2008, 02:58 
Have you tried turning it off and on again
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You don't need to put up with anything MissB.Lies are something which can pretty much destroy any relationship,and any relationship built around lies is doomed from the start.I've had one experience with someone i really liked,but the lies that she spun pretty much made me wanna hate her.So yeah,that's that.In short,i'd suggest not taking any more crap.You go girl :)

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2008, 09:35 
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Seriously B, why do you continue to put up with this shit? I hate to sound Cliche' but there really ARE better fish in the sea. You are an attractive woman, you could very easily find someone who will treat you right, yet you continue to allow this dick to jerk you around because you "loooove" him. I have to call bullshit.

With any bad relationship you have a giver and a taker, the trick is YOU HAVE TO ALLOW THEM TO TAKE FROM YOU. I have seen multiple posts where you are at your wit's end, yet you continue to ALLOW him to do this shit to you. Grow a set (figuratively of course) and GTFO. Find someone who will not take you for granted, who will make the effort to show you how he loves you. Really there are a few good men out there, go get you one girl.

Don't decide you are not going to put up with anymore shit, decide that you have already taken too much shit and walk. As long as you put it off then you are not solving anything. Or if you think that you just can't live without this dick, then swallow your pride, lay down, just take it like a doormat and quit bitching.

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2008, 15:47 
Bitchzilla
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The_Almighty_Stan wrote:
That makes two of us.
Actually i'm just tired of all the bullshit, I just really want to change everything in my life right now.


Third

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“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 17 Oct 2008, 17:47 
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pshhh

bullshit is where its at. give me psycho latin or italian honey any day.

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 Post subject: Re: Lies
PostPosted: 18 Oct 2008, 10:29 
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I obviously don't know the details of this, but you should confront him and not back down. Don't accept another lie as an apology or "explanation", because compulsive liars see that as a victory. Like everyone else said, you don't deserve this shit.

I'm in a (somewhat) similar friendship, with a guy that is extraordinarily manipulative. He'll lie to me, my friends, etc. and essentially try to destroy my relationships to make me isolated. Whenever I confront him, it's always these "heartfelt" lies to explain himself, and he got away with it for way to long. What I ended up doing- Thursday, no less- was finally telling him that he's a joke to me, and that there's no way that I can ever trust him again.

It sucks you have to deal with this in a romantic relationship, but I think that you should cut ties with him. You're clearly hurt already, and dealing with him any longer is only going to prolong the process of lies.


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 Post subject: Re: Lies (& in-laws)
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 18:59 
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All-

Sorry, but it seems like every month or two, MissB has home issues. I'm writing this to catch up on BOTH of her issues.

MissB-

OK, sorry but it seems I'm a bit late to this, but I'm going to put in my two cents either way.

After seeing numerous posts about how bad things are at home, between the SO and the "in-law", I think many people here are trying to tell you the same thing. If you are upset about how your SO and "in-law" are treating you, maybe its time to move on. I know you say you love him, but thats only half the battle. He still needs to love you back. If he won't commit, he lies to you, his mother beats you up emotionally, you work your ass off FOR BOTH OF THEM and nobody appreciates you, then maybe you need to find yourself a new life.

You're a pretty girl, responsible, caring for your family, and have a job. You try to keep a clean house, support your SO (both financially and emotionally), and if I remember correctly you try to take care of yourself (nice job BTW). If you think for 1 minute you'll have problems finding someone that will care for you and RECIPROCATE what you give them, you're crazier than you come off in some of the forums.

The bigger concern here, on all of the things that have been bugging you about your home life, is the concern for your child. The "in-law" treats your kid like crap and that is UNACCEPTABLE. Your child is her flesh and blood, the child of her child, and if she has a problem with that then the bitch has to go. If your SO doesn't have the nuts to have your back on this one, he can move his shit while he's moving hers. Your child is an innocent bystander in this dysfunctional BS and it needs to stop. For your sake and your kid's. Your kid cannot live in a house like this. Your kid will learn to disrespect you just like they are, lie to you just like they do. You think things are hard now? Try dealing with teenagers that treat you like they do, 4 people beating you down emotionally each and every day.

You can't change her, and, quite frankly, good luck changing him. She needs to be shipped out. Not in a home per say, but possibly assisted living. She gets to retain her freedom, but has others to assist if needed. Either way, the well being of you and your child needs to be first in your mind. I know you don't ask the SO to stand up for you, but it blows my mind he doesn't do it of his own free will. I would NEVER let my mother talk to my wife the way she talks to you.

I say:

He buys the laptop, he can use it to find a new place to live.
She complains the house is always messy, Start by packing her shit.
If they continue to Lie, they can keep lying by telling people they still live with you.

Get a grip, for you and your kid. Bad situations breed bad situations.


*Again, sorry to all for combining an old post with a new one, but someone needs to point out there is a trend here and it needs to stop.*


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