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 Post subject: Mhm
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2008, 18:18 
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Alright, so, after realizing that commitment scares the shit out of me, and the idea of being tied down make me want to run, not to mention remembering dates and presents, and all the shit going on with my grandpa and mom and the handful of deaths and school, I've made the personal decision to just skip dating for a while. It's too stressful and I don't want to/can't deal with it right now.

Here's the reason I'm back though: So I met corey like 6 months ago, and he was a play thing for a bit, but I was over it when I got a guy. Now that I'm over dating, he's back in my life. He picked me up the other night after a very..... colorful.. fight with the step-dad. And he's just, I'm not entirely sure how to explain it completely, but I can me myself and be weird and loud and all that shit that I usually have to change for the people at school. (not that I do, but you know what I mean)

So we hung out friday and saturday of last week, not to mention a lot before that. He doesn't want to date either, and we both have this thing where we're only with one person while, I suppose for lack of a better term, playing. So basically it's me and him, without having to remember dates or presents or see each other constantly.

He works at a restaurant basically every day. I go to school, and work and babysit, so there's not a lot of time for us to see each other. But so far I have yet to find a friends with benefits guy who says "You know, I don't really wanna just lay here, let's go somewhere." At which point he grabs me, carries me down 3 flights of stairs, sits me in his car, and we end up in a park for like 4 hours, talking about everything and anything. Including the fact that he doesn't want to push me, and he gets that it's just a fwb thing, but he doesn't want it to be all about sex.

So we texted that night more about all this, and there's no way we're dating, it's just not possible. But we both decided that we're okay with what we have, and it's just me and him. Like not him with me and 3 other chicks type of thing.

I need to know how to not get attached and fuck things up. Because I can feel myself doing it, and I don't want to. I know he's busy, and I need to let that be. Idk, it feels like he doesn't want to see me, when I know for a fact he does. He's just really fucking busy. Not to mention I do this thing where I push people away by being like this. Thing is I'd fuck up dating him, because I can't deal with it right now. I'm just happy when I'm with him, it's that simple.

How do I not get too attached and fuck it up..?

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 Post subject: Re: Mhm
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2008, 01:54 
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Sex always leads to attachment no matter how many rules you set. With that amount of physical intimacy it's inevitable, so I would say get out while you have the chance or just start an actual relationship with this dude or someone else for that matter. If you are dead set on trying this out you have to realize that it's only about the sex and nothing else.

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 Post subject: Re: Mhm
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2008, 04:15 
Have you tried turning it off and on again
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If he's a friend of yours...and you want uncommitted sex with him,it'll complicate things.You have that with people who are not your friends,then its cool.But if they are your friends...well,its easy grounds for losing your friendship.

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 Post subject: Re: Mhm
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2008, 09:22 
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Having a relationship will ruin things more than every-now-and-again sex will. Things aren't currently complicated though.. I'm just being a chick and thinking too far into something that isn't. I have no idea if this makes any sense to the guys on here because, well, I have yet to meet a guy with attachment issues that isn't either 13 or gay..

And it's not like this is only on my side either. The past two time we chilled, not including yesterday, were just us hanging out. I rolled (E) with him for my first time on saturday, and every couple hours he was asking me how I felt, if I was okay, did I need anything. Looking out for me, and that actually meant something, he didn't just throw a pill at me and assume I'd be okay. He'll start a conversation by asking about my past or what I think of something or just randomly say "You know, I really really trust you." At which point I'd usually be thinking he's only saying this and being this nice to get in my pants, but we've covered that.. so there's really no need.

I know I'd ruin something if we got together together, so that just isn't going to happen..

Yeah, sex and being that close has some level of attachment I know, but I think I'm pushing it.. and It kind of needs to stop.. I don't want to be the crazy chick.

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Mhm
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2008, 09:27 
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Holy shit I know what needs to happen.

I don't need to text him, or be with him all the time, and realize that the world is not going to end because I haven't heard from him in 3 or 4 days. That's how this type of shit works, and it's that simple.. Hmmm..

Wow, that was semi-easy..

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Mhm
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2008, 12:21 
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hahahahahaahaha you have sooo much to learn. Good luck dearie, I hope it works out for you.

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 Post subject: Re: Mhm
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2008, 17:48 
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dageaux wrote:
hahahahahaahaha you have sooo much to learn. Good luck dearie, I hope it works out for you.

mmmkey, that was bitchy


en, it's never simple, you can't expect to have casual sex w a frind of yours and not get things twisted, specially at 16. Just go w the flow, if you like the guy and you give yourselves time there's no need to ruin anything

and i'm sorry, but imho "commitment issues" only exist when you don't really want to be w someone: if you meet someone you could settle down with, you'll know it and won't stop just because you are afraid of what might happen

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 Post subject: Re: Mhm
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2008, 17:53 
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YerlA wrote:
and i'm sorry, but imho "commitment issues" only exist when you don't really want to be w someone: if you meet someone you could settle down with, you'll know it and won't stop just because you are afraid of what might happen



fucking amen to that. I told a 27 year old I was ready to marry her when I was fucking 20. Thank god I dodged that irrational, hormone driven bullet. but I meant it at the time, and I was pretty sure I was destined to be an eternal bachelor before I met her.

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 Post subject: Re: Mhm
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2008, 23:00 
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YerlA wrote:
en, it's never simple, you can't expect to have casual sex w a frind of yours and not get things twisted, specially at 16. Just go w the flow, if you like the guy and you give yourselves time there's no need to ruin anything


Agreed 100%. I've tried it myself, and even as someone who prefers to be single (and was in love with someone else at the time), I STILL formed an attachment.

Also, don't feel bad about forming an attachment. It doesn't make you "crazy", but it could create some major problems. The guy I was sleeping with formed an even stronger infatuation with me, even after I moved on; and it got MESSY, because there was no "contract" between us in regards to relationship rules or fidelity.


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 Post subject: Re: Mhm
PostPosted: 25 Oct 2008, 15:57 
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The_Almighty_Stan wrote:
Sex always leads to attachment no matter how many rules you set. With that amount of physical intimacy it's inevitable, so I would say get out while you have the chance or just start an actual relationship with this dude or someone else for that matter. If you are dead set on trying this out you have to realize that it's only about the sex and nothing else.

I can agree with this. I can't imagine forfeiting that level of intimacy if I didn't feel an attachment.

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