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 Post subject: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 14 Dec 2008, 19:33 
Slutty Mexican
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..My parents are separated...I don't even know if it's like for ever. I know i'm 21, I shouldn't care, and I just want them to be happy and all, but they've been together for 35 years...I think mostly I feel sorry for my dad, 'cause he has no friends and I feel I have the responsabilitie to take care of him (not that he doesn't know how to, but I just don't want him to be alone)

I don't know, It's just too recent, My dad just left to my other house. I told him to take the dog with him...to have some kind of company



idk...:(

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 14 Dec 2008, 20:29 
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Wow that sucks. I hope they are alright. At your age though, aside from hoping for them to be happy you should be sure to address the elephant in the room, their estate. You and your siblings (if any) will get fucked if one of them remarries to someone w/kids if you don't take the steps now to talk to both of them about it. Obviously since they have 2 houses this is a real concern. Aside from encouraging them to get back together, try to mediate if you can handle it. Remind them that the amount that they are spending on divorce is money that won't be used for sent their children to college or pay for their retirement to help encourage them to be fair and just in the divorce. I wouldn't take sides until you figure out exactly what is going on.

Aside from that tidbit. They must be in their mid 50s then? Wow, thats a long time to be married and with any luck you might be able to get them to avoid the divorce altogether, especially if you talk about the negatives of divorce status as opposed to their current married legal status.

Sorry :hug:

Why are they seperated?


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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 14 Dec 2008, 21:08 
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nono, divorce? I don't even want to talk about that....my dad JUST (like, 3 hours ago) left...they keep fighting 'cause my dad is very "selfish" (he wants my mom to be w him, and his whole life revolves around her). And I totally get my mom for being sick of it...But they started dating when my mom was 16 and my dad 18. I mean, I guess this hits me hard since I always thought if they can be together this long and still love each other, then it IS possible. Just the romantic idea of eternal love, I guess........
I'm the youngest, my sis is 27 and my brother is 29, so i'm kind of in the middle of their problems (i'm still living at home). Other couples? nah, i don't see my parents ever being w other ppl. Money? my dad would give anything and everything to my mom, and she doesn' care either, they won't fight about it...


I don't know, this is all so strange, I always thought they would be the old couple sitting on the sidewalk drinking mate and watching ppl walk by....


thanks for the support Anon, I'm really confused...

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 14 Dec 2008, 21:42 
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Coming from never knowing her real dad, several boyfriends of the week, and 4 divorces, and the current step dad walking out several times, I know where you're coming from.

Why don't you like, get them both to sit down, with you and any siblings, let them know how it's affecting you, and have them talk things through, without yelling as much as possible?

Also, I noticed you said second home.. is this usual, or does your family just have a legit amount of money?

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 15 Dec 2008, 01:06 
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hey kiddo. i'll type you up a legit response tomorrow. just got home. both my parents have been divorced twice and my step parents have also been divorced totaling 4 or 5 divorces - i've lost count, plus I am the sole heir to all 6(? lol my life is a fucking cosmic joke) of these people so I totally get the guilt feelings, so I can give you the play by play in pretty much any scenario.

bottom line is: you have nothing to do with it. you shouldn't try and "take care" of your dad either. he's a big boy. secondly, none of it is your fault. third, if you wanna drop me a private line feel free. it does suck. i pretend to numb out my emotions but it absolutely effects you no matter how much you try to not let it. hang in there.

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 15 Dec 2008, 09:37 
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Aw, that sucks. I hope your parents won't squabble à la Jerry Springer Show and try to get the kids to take sides, I hear that happens. But it seems they're old enough to know better, and you're old enough be rational about this, so you just gotta hang in there. If your dad isn't a very social guy, keeping him company seems like a good idea, your mom should understand and not go all "omg u liek him moar!!! :'(" on you.

My parents divorced when I was like three, and I've had the same step dad ever since, so saying "I know what you're going through" would be a lie. Anyway, I hope you and your siblings get through this undamaged.


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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 15 Dec 2008, 10:16 
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EnleverJusteLeBord wrote:

Also, I noticed you said second home.. is this usual, or does your family just have a legit amount of money?


idk, we have an apartment in the city (where we actally live), a house like 25 kms away where we go on weekends (that's where my dad is at) and another house like 500 kms away (where we go on summers). We are not rich, my parents builted the houses (not with their hands, but they did it little by little )

anyway, my parents have always been so perfect that i'd never even imagine this could happen...I guess that's why i'm so confused. And I'm leaving next week for a month, so I thinks what I'm most worried about is what the hell is gonne happen while i'm gone..who's getting the cat and the dog? (yes, i know it sounds stupid, but i'm extremely protective of them, and i would die if they got neglected because of this mess.)

I guess I'm still hoping for my dad to come home. I'm definetely not sitting them down and telling them anything, 'cause they didn't yell (i'm not disturbed by that, it's just the image of my dad taking a bag and leaving..) and i most certainly can't solve their problems...i feel stupid, I'm 21, this should not affect me


sorry I go on about this, i haven't talked to anyone about this (my siblings don't know yet, and i'm not ready to talk about it w friends...), and i gues it's easier to write it to a bunch of strangers..:P

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 17 Dec 2008, 09:53 
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Sorry about this YerlA.

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 18 Dec 2008, 15:19 
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There's nothing I can really add to this, but I'm sorry to hear about this :/


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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 18 Dec 2008, 16:52 
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it's ok everyone! at least for now...it seems as if they've worked things out, 'cause my mom left for the other house yesterday and I haven't seen her since :) (i just re-read that and it sounds like my dad killed her or sth, hehehe! i've talked to both of them, they're fine :P)

anyhow, hopefully they'll stick together...thanks everyone for giving me words of comfort :,)

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 18 Dec 2008, 17:53 
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ewww they had mega sex. :giggles:

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 19 Dec 2008, 01:16 
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mzziqztixl wrote:
ewww they had mega sex. :giggles:

Think about that for a second......Your parents having wild kinky monkey sex.......Now you are scarred for life....Hope the parents are wealthy enough to pay for therapy



Seriously tho, I hope it all went well and the remember how much they love each other and make it work :h5:

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 19 Dec 2008, 10:46 
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dageaux wrote:
Think about that for a second......Your parents having wild kinky monkey sex.......Now you are scarred for life....Hope the parents are wealthy enough to pay for therapy


well, I'm already fucked up, so...

dageaux wrote:
Seriously tho, I hope it all went well and the remember how much they love each other and make it work :h5:


me too :hug:

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 Post subject: Dont know how I feel about this
PostPosted: 03 Oct 2009, 16:17 
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I dont feel sad for them. A trip to WDW is a major expense. If you think you can go and not do your homework before hand - which would indicate that discount codes exist - then you deserve to pay full price.

Routinely when I plan a vacation - especially an expensive one - I try to find info on the internet, get books, talk to people, etc. Always on the lookout for ways to save money and maximize my experience.

Its pretty basic, but - yes - there are still a big number of people that just pay what they are told without even doing any research

No I dont feel "sad" for them. I just wonder how they manage in life if they dont know enough to ask and research before spending the big Amazing.


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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 03 Oct 2009, 17:54 
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Being there for you dad is the most inportant thign your mom has the siblings but make sure not to make your mom feel that your taking his side, explain to her that you are spending time with him because he is lonely.

If you cant see your dad call him to make him know that you care.


Man my parents got divorced when I was 2 so I dont knwo what its like but make sure that both of them know that you love them.

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 06 Oct 2009, 09:17 
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RoBo wrote:
Being there for you dad is the most inportant thign your mom has the siblings but make sure not to make your mom feel that your taking his side, explain to her that you are spending time with him because he is lonely.

If you cant see your dad call him to make him know that you care.


Man my parents got divorced when I was 2 so I dont knwo what its like but make sure that both of them know that you love them.


this is like a million years old robo, read the dates.
Thanks anyways, i guess

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 Post subject: Re: Don't know how I feel about this...
PostPosted: 06 Oct 2009, 12:34 
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so did they end up getting back together long term?

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