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 Post subject: Corey.
PostPosted: 15 Dec 2008, 19:02 
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Corey.

Met him over the summer. I knew him before, but he was a senior and me a sophmore at the time and he had a gf of 2 years and we just didn't talk. However one night over the summer I needed a ride home and he lives by me so I asked him and he did. We started hanging out and he kissed me(he and the girl had been over for about 6 months now), we talked, he confided in me and all this shit, saying I was the only girl who accepted him for him and he could be himself 110% all this stuff.

It progressed, I rolled my first time with him and it rocked, he brought me food and tea at 3 in the morning after rolling when I was crashing and called him in tears. We started chilling whenever he wasn't working (2 jobs 6 days a week). Yes I slept with him. It was his halloween party I went to and got in so much trouble for.

So after that, and since I'm still grounded I took to sneaking out to go see him, he literally lives a 2 minutes walk from my back yard.

Now, a bit before this party me him and my friend Margo messed around, she liked him, a lot, and me and him weren't dating, and we're not going to. It's just too hard. She got all clingy and emo about it and he just stopped talking to her because he hates that shit.

He's been acting weird for a couple weeks, not returning texts or calls. So I called him out on it today, I text him and go

"Okay, so did I do something? Like become margo? I know you're busy, but I can't shake the feeling.."

He comes back with "Kind of" I asked how and he hasn't responded as of now, it's like 6pm and I text him how at like 4.

Keep in mind I'm not like bombarding him with texts. I don't text him during the day, and he's not up when I get up for school, so that's no texts from like 5 am to 11 pm, cause 11 is usually close to when he gets off. Ad I've been super tired lately, so I'm not usually up after 12 or 1. And I'll text him maybe 2 or 3, MAYBE 4 times a week. Unless I absolutely needed something, then there might be the stray daytime text or call. And call maybe once.

Like 2 weeks ago he called me every other night for no apparent reason, and we talked for like 2 hours. Before that, when I was still uber upset over my grandpa I'd call him and he'd help me out.

When I used to go over to his house at night I'd call from the house phone at like 12 and see. And that was fine.

My question is did I do something I'm not aware of? How did I become margo if she called him 9 times in a span of 15 min and I text tops 5 times a week? When she would not leave him be and I call once or twice?

We were so close, and this is really getting to me. I hate hate hate being an ignorant child and that's why I asked him if I did something.

I don't know why but I'm really upset about this. I'm okay with everyone and everything else, and I was okay with myself and like where I was at until this. i didn't even know i did something, and it sucks, and I'm upset... I just don't fucking know..

I'd just stop talking to him, be strong, show him what he's missing out on, etc, but it's not that easy for me.

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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 16 Dec 2008, 19:20 
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he's immature. you didn't over text him. you got routine. see the correlation?

since he's a douche, trust me I can just tell, when things become routine in his neanderthal mind this equates to dating and he gets cold to you because he has attachment issues.

he clearly enjoys being the dominant partner in a relationship which just doesn't work. you played into it by asking if you did something wrong which implies that you felt like you had done something wrong which makes him right, emotionally - this isn't rational, and you in some inconceivable way - wrong.

this isn't a logical thought line so if this seems a little whacked, well it is. but the bottom line is you get attached to unavailable guys and want to "fix them." This is no different that the other 3(4?) you have asked about. it's time for you to stop looking at others and wondering how to fix them and realize that you are looking to fix other people so you don't have to look at and fix yourself.

sorry if this is blunt but you really need to acknowledge this about yourself and address it or you will continually be unhappy.

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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 16 Dec 2008, 21:40 
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See you're right. And I know this about myself. I just don't want to deal with it right now.

I ended up calling him at 12:30 and he didn't answer. So I texted him saying he needed to man the fuck up and tell me what was going on. He comes back with I was getting over protective, at which point I promptly bowed down, apologized, and made m out to be that bad guy, when in reality he was being an outright asshole.

Thing is I'm used to having a guy I can fall back on, and he's the one right now, and I like the attention.. It's sad and pathetic but I do, and I'm not sure what happens when I stand alone left to my own devices.

And I do get possessive, but the only person I brought it up with was Taylor, the girl I was getting jealous over, and one of my best friends. And idk if that's what he was talking about, and I know she wouldn't do anything.

I'm more pissed at myself that i fucked up and I can't see him now barely at all.

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 17 Dec 2008, 07:45 
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mzziqztixl wrote:
he's immature. you didn't over text him. you got routine. see the correlation?

since he's a douche, trust me I can just tell, when things become routine in his neanderthal mind this equates to dating and he gets cold to you because he has attachment issues.

he clearly enjoys being the dominant partner in a relationship which just doesn't work. you played into it by asking if you did something wrong which implies that you felt like you had done something wrong which makes him right, emotionally - this isn't rational, and you in some inconceivable way - wrong.

this isn't a logical thought line so if this seems a little whacked, well it is. but the bottom line is you get attached to unavailable guys and want to "fix them." This is no different that the other 3(4?) you have asked about. it's time for you to stop looking at others and wondering how to fix them and realize that you are looking to fix other people so you don't have to look at and fix yourself.

sorry if this is blunt but you really need to acknowledge this about yourself and address it or you will continually be unhappy.


Damn Right. Mzz is a wise man en, listen to him...

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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 17 Dec 2008, 10:02 
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I know he is. And I'm trying.. I really am.

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“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 17 Dec 2008, 22:52 
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well at least you have insight into your own behavior. This is the beginning of self actualization.

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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 18 Dec 2008, 00:01 
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EnleverJusteLeBord wrote:
See you're right. And I know this about myself. I just don't want to deal with it right now.

I ended up calling him at 12:30 and he didn't answer. So I texted him saying he needed to man the fuck up and tell me what was going on. He comes back with I was getting over protective, at which point I promptly bowed down, apologized, and made m out to be that bad guy, when in reality he was being an outright asshole.

Thing is I'm used to having a guy I can fall back on, and he's the one right now, and I like the attention.. It's sad and pathetic but I do, and I'm not sure what happens when I stand alone left to my own devices.

And I do get possessive, but the only person I brought it up with was Taylor, the girl I was getting jealous over, and one of my best friends. And idk if that's what he was talking about, and I know she wouldn't do anything.

I'm more pissed at myself that i fucked up and I can't see him now barely at all.


You. didn't. fuck. up.

Honestly, I'm just like you when it comes to relationships (or at least, what you've explained). I'm terrified of appearing too cling-y, which can sometimes make me appear too distant. It's a fine line to tread.

I'm jealous too, and I feel like I need a guy to fall back, even when I'm securely single. It's like a security net, and it helps your confidence knowing that- in the back of your mind- there's a guy always there.

He's an immature guy, just as Mzz said. He pretty much broke down how I believe that guy operates. Believe me, I've met plenty of them. It helps boost up their self image, and in his head, he's probably romanticizing himself as a "heart breaker". That's exactly why he said that crap to you about not being accepted, he's trying to make something that should be simple into something epic. I think he's trying to make it seem as if there's something fundamentally flawed about you to cope with his own insecurities.

You're young (as patronizing as that sounds), and they'll be loads of assholes you'll meet. It's hard to find the ones that aren't going to pull this kind of crap. Ignore this guy, and keep going with your life. You'll find a good guy soon.


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 18 Dec 2008, 09:24 
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Meh hes an asshole. find a diff guy to fall back on lol.
It seems like hes into a lot of girls or whutever and he just idk, may have found a diff girl to make feel bad and doesn really want to have anything to do with you?
as they have said hes immature, immature people dont know whut they want and jump from person to person without realizing whuts bein left behind how the other one may feel.
I just think he needs to stop bein a whiney faggot and talk to you if he wants to have anything to do wtih you.

Sorry if it sounds a bit bitchy, i just woke up and couldnt think of any other way to word it. =[


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 18 Dec 2008, 17:31 
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It doesn't sound bitchy(it totally does but I know what you mean) I guess I just don't really wanna think about that, and if he's a big enough douche to say all that and then not even have the decency to fucking tell me that he found another chick to fuck over, idk. I guess I'd still be pissed because I didn't see it coming. Or catch it after it happened.

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 18 Dec 2008, 17:37 
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dageaux wrote:
well at least you have insight into your own behavior. This is the beginning of self actualization.


I do, and that's the shitty part. I KNOW what I'm doing, and I KNOW it's not good for me, but it's fun at the time, and I have this horrid habit where I think only about 3 seconds ahead of what I'm doing. And those three seconds are all I really care about.

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 19 Dec 2008, 01:19 
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EnleverJusteLeBord wrote:
dageaux wrote:
well at least you have insight into your own behavior. This is the beginning of self actualization.


I do, and that's the shitty part. I KNOW what I'm doing, and I KNOW it's not good for me, but it's fun at the time, and I have this horrid habit where I think only about 3 seconds ahead of what I'm doing. And those three seconds are all I really care about.

Its all good, enjoy your youth while ya got it. Plenty of time for responsible behavior when you get old and wrinkly like me. :squint:

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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 19 Dec 2008, 16:51 
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Lol.. Can I just throw it out the window entirely?

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“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 19 Dec 2008, 18:21 
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Not yett.
Im only 18 I grew up way too fast. You dont wanna do that.


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 19 Dec 2008, 18:52 
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I've been forced to grow up faster than anyone I know. I currently pay bills among other shit. I just don't say it nearly ever because I hate people who do and expect something of it. (Not you, you're only giving advice) And I totally agree, if it wasn't almost all the way out the window now I would probably not be in the messes I am.

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 19 Dec 2008, 18:57 
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Yeah I totally understand whut you are getting at. I think I am pretty much in the same boat as you.


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 19 Dec 2008, 19:20 
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That's good. it's hard to find people who don't flaunt the fact that they "had to grow up fast"

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 19 Dec 2008, 19:24 
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Yes. :(
And they are still fucking childish as fuck....that is one of the obvious reasons.


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 Post subject: Re: Corey.
PostPosted: 19 Dec 2008, 19:33 
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Oh definitely. Bleh.

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“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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