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 Post subject: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 11 Feb 2009, 20:03 
Bitchzilla
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So, apparently things were just going too fucking good for me recently. I talked my mom into getting me on birth control, I'm doing the Depo shot, so I won't even have to bother with periods anymore, I'm getting my phone back in like a month, school is going good, not failing anything, and I passed math last semester so I'm on track for graduating early, I'm loosing a little weight, work is going fantastic, and my oldest friend has started speaking to me again, nicely at that.

Thus things are just going TOO damn good.

So here's my punishment:

Corey and Jon were the two best guys in my life. I was happy and all that sappy 17 year old shit.

The other day Jon called to tell me that he found the perfect girl, he's so happy, and he's sorry, but he has to end things with me, and because this girl is a little on the jealous side, he's not allowed to talk to me anymore. I'll admit, that hurt, but it's whatever, I was seeing him an average of 2 or 3 times every couple months.

So Sunday, Corey picked me up from work. Things with him have been going way better. he's stopped being a douche bag, started answering my texts and all that. So we're just chillin and I was thinking a lot about it, and I realized he's one of 2 guys I've ever loved. I figured I'd tell him that, and it was one of those make of break things, it could either make us stronger, or things would get awkward and then end. here's how this conversation went:

Me: Erm... so even though I'm not supposed to, and it has the potential to fuck things up... I love you.
*Skip ahead about 15 minutes in which his mood shifted and I tried to get him to tell me what was wrong*
Him: Promise me two things.
Me: ...
Him: One, you won't change, two, you won't cry.
Me: ...O...kay..
Him: Okay.. Two things.. One, I've fallen so far in love with you I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself, you're gorgeous, you're perfect, you are absolutely amazing. Two, I'm moving back to Colorado June 1st.
Me: .........................................*Bursts into tears*

We then talked about damn near everything, how he got accepted to UWRF and would do anything he could to stay here for me, how he didn't want a relationship because he knew he wasn't staying here he just didn't know when he was leaving, he's a couple grand in debt and just hates it here, everything. I guess I kinda realized how much he meant to me, and what I'm losing now, and it took a huge toll on me, this is really, really hard to deal with.

I know I'm 17, I know I know nothing about love, blah blah blah, but what I do know is that he is the only guy who's never tried to change me, who I'm happy around, who I can sit next to for hours and talk about everything or nothing and it still feels amazing just being with him. Who agreed to go to my prom with me if I wanted to, just because he though it was an experience I needed to see. Who, when I went too far then decided I didn't really want sex at the moment, because I didn't feel that good, got up and made me tea and a sandwich, instead of throwing a fit.

He was talking about having this amazing job lined up and how he'd have his own apartment by the time I was 18 and if I wanted to move out there i could, and how if it doesn't work out he's accepted at UWRF and he could move back, how he'll be back to visit, etc. But I'm terrified to get my hopes up..

And I asked about that, I asked what happened when he found someone in Colorado(bout a 15 hour drive from me) and if he would at least let me know, ya know? For whatever twisted reason I'm like that.. And he promised me he would(at least he didn't beat around the bush saying he'd wait for me and there wasn't anyone else etc.)

But I'm honestly terrified he's GONNA find someone else and I'll be out of the picture and I'll lose him, that because I'm only 17 an amazing chance is going 15 hours away. I know it's shallow of me and everything, but I'm so scared I'm not good enough and in the 6 months he's gone I'll be replaced, despite what he's said and how much I mean to him.. I guess I'm scared of being forgotten, that's what's hitting me so hard.. I dunno if ANY of this makes any sense at all.

It's like the Karma Gods decided to make my life like a movie like The Notebook, except the rolls are switched, guy is leaving, not the girl, and they're not letting me fast forward to see if the ending will be good or shitty.

I know I'm not the only one, I'll get over it, over him, etc. etc. etc. But I don't wanna, at all. And I'm stuck in the now, not in the 5 years from now when I won't even remember his name.


And I'm sorry for being a whiny little girl, but this really fucking sucks..

/sob story *sniffles*

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 11 Feb 2009, 20:21 
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That sucks. Best thing I can tell you to do is enjoy your time together now. This is gonna sound shitty but if you two want to maintain your relationship at all after he moves (even as friends) you can't worry about what the other person is doing, because you only know what they tell you..... and basically you should only share the good. (not the hey I went out and got hammered last night)

There is a silver lining..... Have you considered using that as motivation to get those grades back up so you can goto college (near where he is)? That could be an excuse to get out to CO.


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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 11 Feb 2009, 20:23 
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i'm sorry. but i laughed.

and you have to let him go.

and you will meet someone else who will make you forget about him.

and you will think he will never forget and you will never forget.

but he will. and you will.

and its okay.

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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 11 Feb 2009, 20:26 
Bitchzilla
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Fuck this shit.

But thanks.

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 11 Feb 2009, 21:04 
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I have to agree wi both Anon and mzz, enjoy what little time you have left and then let him go. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult to begin with and I'm sure your age will not help matters.

Anyways this is where I say the stereotypical bs. Time heals all wounds, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Yes these are things straight out of a hallmark card but they're generally true.

Btw you don't find it a little suspect that he's changed into a better person right before he leaves?
Just thought I'd mention that.

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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 12 Feb 2009, 07:09 
Less is More
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that sucks heaps... but you will get through it.
its all been said. have fun with him while you can. once you do graduate, you could move out there, see him again, or you can go your seperate ways and find your own place in the big wide world... with time you'll get through the shitiness of the situation

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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 12 Feb 2009, 07:44 
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Yah that does suck.... Sorry to hear it happened. All i can say for you is try not to get yourself too bent out of shape over relationships. Your 17 you have lots of shit that is going to push you to the edge thru life, dont let relationships be one of them. If it was supposed to happen it would happen, just let it be and while it sucks youll survive and come out stronger. Good luck to ya, i know its a fuckin emotional rollercoaster at that age.


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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 12 Feb 2009, 08:29 
Have you tried turning it off and on again
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If he will meet someone new then so will you. The world doesn't stop at one guy...its hard and pissy getting over somebody, but you eventually do.

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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 12 Feb 2009, 10:56 
Reginald Cuntypants
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I have to say I agree with what everybody else has said. Some times life just likes to kick you in the face, but the most that you can do is weather the storm and hope that something good comes around -which it will. Just take things as they come and try not to make any rash decisions. If you can remain friends with ....*scrolls down*.... Corey, that's better than nothing. Sometimes a friendship can be even stronger than a relationship.

I wouldn't advise trying long-distance. Although these things can work, a relationship tends to build based on fantasy rather than reality, and if you're insecure about his loyalty to you it may start to eat at you that you can't be with him.
Just try to keep your head above the water and keep living your life. Something always comes along. Just don't make yourself blind to it.

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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 12 Feb 2009, 11:13 
Less is More
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ya the long distance thng probably wouldn't be a good idea. sorry... but it will seriously fuck with your head, and if you start questioning stuff, thats when it will all fall apart. but hey if you finish school, keep in contact and both of you are in the same place (mentally, relationship-wise) then you could still try it out, give it a go and physically move or what have you?

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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 12 Feb 2009, 17:02 
Bitchzilla
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I don't plan on long distance, it would just suck for me.

But the grade thing actually made sense, thanks Anon, I didn't even really think about it.

And thanks to the rest of you.

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 12 Feb 2009, 22:50 
Less is More
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good luck, hopefully shit works itself out.

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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 12 Feb 2009, 23:56 
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Baby girl... :'(

Things will look up for you. Anything you can live through will make you stronger. And there is no such thing as "your one true soulmate" (and I think you already know that), but I have nothing but high hopes for you. You'll make it through this.

...or you can just come to Washington with me. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 13 Feb 2009, 17:02 
Bitchzilla
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MissBrown wrote:
Baby girl... :'(

Things will look up for you. Anything you can live through will make you stronger. And there is no such thing as "your one true soulmate" (and I think you already know that), but I have nothing but high hopes for you. You'll make it through this.

...or you can just come to Washington with me. :)


*tears up*

See? THIS is why I love you.

<3 <3

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“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

-Bill Watterson


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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 19 Jun 2009, 10:05 
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Buck up, buttercup.

Life isn't a fairy tale. There aren't guardian angels on our shoulders that make sure everything turns out at least decent. Fucked up shit happens that shatters our fucking hearts, and there isn't anything we can do about it.

All any of us can do is make the conscious decision to be happy and accept our reality for what it is. Bliss, despair...all it is is chemicals, man. Keep that chemical factory in your noggin pumping the good shit, even if it's by force of will. The present moment is all there is, man, fuck the bullshit.

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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 19 Jun 2009, 10:44 
Less is More
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bro, don't be a cunt. this is the sanctuary. be supportive, don't rip on her for having feelings and shit. also look at the original post date. february. kinda unnecessary to be bringing this shit up now isn't it?

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 Post subject: Re: Pissed of the Karma Gods
PostPosted: 19 Jun 2009, 12:23 
Been here too long
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Methinks he's just bitter because someone broke his poor widdle heart too.
And yeah, old post. No need to bump.

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